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What
does it take to make someone succeed? Many people have succeeded because they
were trying to prove themselves to someone they loved.
Suppose you have a son who is very good at athletics and you tell him that he's
a girl and that he'll never become a real champion. He might respond to your
insults by trying to prove you wrong. In fact he might one day become a world
champion. But will you have made your son a better person?
Only love can make someone good. Don't talk down to people or appeal to their pride
(whether it is obvious or implied). They might become a champion or build a
business empire but they will not become good people on account of you. (See
C.S. Lewis' chapter "The Great Sin" in Mere Christianity.)
Parents, do not exasperate your children (see Ephesians
6:4 and footnote). I highly recommend the section 'When good things become deadly' in the book The Divine Conspiracy by Dallas Willard (inside the chapter "The Community of Prayerful Love"). And even if you think you are being nice, don't lie to your children, otherwise your words will end up meaning nothing to them. (See the second chapter about self-esteem in Psychology as Religion by Paul C. Vitz.)
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